Not Making Your Readers Wait for a Verb

How often do long sentences keep you in suspense before they deliver the second half of an idea?

The following 39-word sentence is an example of how writers can create unnecessary wait times:

What readers, writers, publishers, and retailers really needed to worry about, and catch up with, was the increasing potential of what a book’s content could be, the delivery of the content, and how we could interact with the content.

— Buzz Poole, “Is there hope for books?” Salon.com, August 4, 2011

The sentence’s subject and verb are in orange. The orange pronoun “what” stands for three things, but 14 words separate the pronoun from the verb.

That separation keeps the reader waiting to learn what the three things are. We’d recommend recasting the sentence as two shorter sentences:

There are three things that readers, writers, publishers, and retailers really needed to worry about and catch up with. These three concerns are the increasing potential of what a book’s content could be, the content’s delivery, and how we could interact with the content.

When your readers are busy, it’s best to keep your sentences short — say, 17 to 25 words long.

Short sentences can keep your subjects and verbs clear and also efficiently deliver your meaning to your readers.

Write It Well’s book Essential Grammar includes a full chapter on sentence structure. We’ve made all the book’s exercises available as a free download here to accompany the e-book, which is now available on Amazon.com!

Do you have an important document but not enough time to untangle your sentences? Just use Write It Well’s editing services to make sure your readers follow your ideas and respect your voice.